1. Be prepared
This is probably obvious; however, it is incredibly important that both you and your spouse prepare before the mediation and have everything ready that you wish to discuss.
In relation to financial matters, it is critical that both parties have provided one another with disclosure of all financial documents and that the values of the assets and liabilities in the property pool have been agreed upon or at the very least you and your spouse have confirmed as to how you are to reach a resolution or have organised to have any asset that you cannot agree on, valued by an expert.
Usually, in order to go through these steps, it is important for you both have also received advice from an experienced family lawyer.
If you attend mediation without seeking that advice on your range of entitlements it may be the case that you resolve your matter for less than you were entitled to. Therefore, it is well worth getting advice and ensuring that you have gone through the processes you need to, such as disclosure and valuations before you commence mediation.
2. Listen and then listen again
During mediation if you wish to genuinely resolve your matter, it is highly important that you listen to what your spouse is saying and make a point to understand what is important to them. This is not for the purposes of giving them what they want but in order to understand where someone else is coming from, you are often more likely to see more solutions to your problems as opposed to both parties sitting in positions as opposed to talking about their interests and why they want a certain resolution or what is important to them.
Therefore, it is important to take some advice from Steven Covey who writes “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, that is “seek first to understand before being understood”.
In my experience when parties listen to truly understand where the other person is coming from before they seek to be understood, they often have a greater chance of getting an outcome suited to themselves and their whole family and one that will work for both parties and the family moving forward.
