You and your ex-partner have been separated for many months.
Even though you are no longer living together, the arguments have continued – on the phone, on Skype and in person.
The bitterness between you is so strong that your children become extremely distressed every time they know you will be in the same room together.
You both realise it is time to put a stop to the fighting. You can see the negative impact it is having on you, and even more so, on your children.
It is time to mediate. The goal of mediation? To reach an agreement that works for you and your ex-partner, all while saving on expensive and timely appearances in the Family Court.
Many find it difficult to believe that in as little as one or maybe two mediation sessions, obstinate couples that have been struggling with ongoing, dreadful problems, can come to agreement on their parenting and property matters.
Studies show mediation is often successful because couples have reached the tipping point – the point where a series of small changes or incidents have become significant enough for the couple to want to resolve their differences and move on with their lives.
Choosing the right time to mediate is key. It’s essential that couples have their ‘ducks in a row’ if mediation is going to work.
Here are Family Mediation Station’s top five tips on preparing for a mediation session:
- Make sure you come to mediation with a clear, unemotional mind. – Composure is key. Try and leave all the hurt, bitterness and sadness at the door. While this may be very difficult, mediation is largely a negotiation process and you need to have a clear, uncluttered mind.
- Prepare a list of your key concerns and goals. – Write down all of your main worries and have them ready to present to the other side. You also need to write down your goals – what do you want to achieve by the end of the mediation session?
- Be ready to negotiate. – You already know that arguing does not solve any problems. It just enflames an already delicate situation. If you come to mediation ready to hear your ex-partner’s side of the story and have prepared your list of ‘wants’, you are well on the way to a positive outcome for both parties.
- Bring all your financial documents. – Ideally, you will have everything prepared in a spreadsheet – your assets and your liabilities. You need to be able to talk through everything from property ownership and bank accounts to superannuation and cars, so be well-prepared.
- Think about your children. – At Family Mediation Station, your mediator will guide you and your partner on how to build a Parenting Plan. This plan is designed in a way that ensures you and your ex-partner can each spend substantial and significant time with your children. This will also eliminate endless disagreements and arguing. Before mediation, you need to know what you and your children want. Think deeply about the children’s wishes and needs – this is of paramount importance.
